Funniest job interview ever - how not to do it.

I wouldn't normally stir things but sometimes the actions of others beggars belief... let me know what you think?

A colleague who had been promoted from telesales to field sales decided to not come to work for quite a while - effectively leaving my team in the lurch with everything to do. After giving him several weeks to come in and speak with the management and HR team to explain what was going on, there was still no progress (as he failed to turn up or even call in to say he was ill or anything) he was eventually given the sack.
I feel for him as he's obviously struggling but he didn't help himself in the way he was doing things and never went about it in the right way.
Anyway now you know the background, just when you thought he was history this happens...
A couple of weeks ago he boasted how he'd set himself up for a job with an old manager of his (and this was his reason for going AWOL). He then calls in last week saying he'd been to a second interview with a company for a job which I'd turned down and was hoping that I and two others at the office would give him a reference. In a bit of disbelief I was then told that he was needing a gleaming reference as the company he'd had an interview with were concerned over why he'd left so swiftly after being promoted and he had given the excuse that it was too tough - hardly what a future employer wants to hear from someone at an interview... so honest but stupid I think is the kindest thing to say.
Anyway, he calls up the day after and was put through to the Director who wanted to clear things up and from what I gather the call went roughly along these lines...
X - "Can I have a reference?"
D - "In light of the way you conducted yourself, I can only give you a factual one..."
X - "I am sorry for the way things went, I had several things going on at home and was wondering can I have my old job back?"
D - "To be honest, I think it's best all round if you moved on as the role's been advertised internally and externally."
X - "So can I have an application form then to re-apply for the job?"
D - "No."
X - "Can I have my old position in telesales back then?"
D - "With the greatest respect - I'm terminating this call..."